Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
