i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
