Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
