Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
