i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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