You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize