She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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