Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
