will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
