im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
