Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
