weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
