so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
