problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
