You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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