Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
