He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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