I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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