this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
