I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
