ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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