allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
