big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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