So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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