Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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