is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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