when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
