i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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