how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
