Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
