Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
