Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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