Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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