Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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