Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
