her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
