I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize