So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
