At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize