even my farts smell like vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
