alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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