remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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