weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
