I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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