the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
