just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
