the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
