i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
