i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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