I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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