I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
