I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
