I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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