sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
