We're facebook friends in real life
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
