Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wrigley field is MILF paradise
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
