hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
