Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
just found out that she named her cat after me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
