I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
