I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize