I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
